omgwtf!

Well, it’s three weeks to launch. The weekend of 14 May will be my last as a resident of Los Angeles at long last – for better or for worse. It’s the worse I’m worried about, but what will be will be. I can’t stay here, that’s for damned sure. I’ve been here about eight years too long already, and I am a hollow, horrible shell of the person I used to be because of it. I just wish I could have known Los Angeles without the drama, negativity and vampire-like, soul-draining psychoses I had to deal with in my home environment for all these years. I dont like the city of Los Angeles much, but it does have its good points and I wish I could have experienced the city without being a complete fucking basket case.

Ah, well.

At any rate, I am both dreading and looking forward to being home again. Dreading just because things are uncertain, and in my current state of mind “uncertain” is worse than a death sentence. But I’m looking forward to pretty much everything else, so things even out.

The packing is progressing. I’m in a state of mild panic because it’s three weeks to go and I’ve “got nothing done,” but if I remain consistent and get a little done every day things will work out nicely now that the library is finally packed up. I’ve got some hardcore OCD crap going on that is insisting things be packed “in order,” meaning all like kinds of things have to be in sequential order -all the art supplies have to be packed together and at the same time. All the toys and knickknacks have to be packed together and at the same time. And so forth.

No. Just no.

It’s taking a little effort to break out of that mindset, but it’s happening little by little – mostly because it has to.

So these are my final three weeks in Los Angeles, and I couldn’t be happier. There are some things I will miss, but nowhere near badly enough to remain. I am going home to my city, my state, to be with my friends who, for some reason I am unable to understand, love me enough to want me back.

It’s finally time to say New York, here I come. At long last, I’m going home.