omgwtf!

So remember my stubbornly unlinkable friend from a few posts ago? Yeah, him. He’s linkable! I forgot he had a LiveJournal he doesnt post to very often. I’m working on him to change that bit of antisocial behaviour; he’s a good writer and he’s hilariously funny in delightfully odd ways. He doesnt see it, which makes it even funnier.

I hate fanfic. I hate it. Most of it is appallingly bad and appallingly badly written. Today though he was going through his LJ archive and linked the following story to me, which I repeat here in its entirety for posterity.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you now…

The Best. Fanfic. Ever.

Groovy
So I was requested to do a fanfic. A male/male fanfic. Okay, you fucking asked for it.

If you don’t like it, don’t bitch at me and say it sucks because I don’t like criticism. IT WAS FOR MY FRIEND I SWEAR! *looks around*

Pairing: These two guys
Rating: NC-17 + A (for awesome!)
Word Count: Uhhh..

Teh Awesome Multipurpose Fanfic

Enter. Really sexy guy.

Enter. Other sexy guy.

Clothed in silky robe things. Both of them. Totally.

Robes drop to the floor. Magic. Lack of grammar.

Lots of ribbons. Lots of periods. Not those periods.

Guy with that one type of hair shoved on bed. Guy with other type hair follows.

Jerking – To grasp and move about randomly and with force; masturbation. Mutual. Yeah.

A moan. Two of them. I think. Maybe more. Fuck it. Lots of moaning.

Lube spells. Shake that wand just right.

Ass. Into which it is shoved. Ouch. Not my type of thing. I can still write about it.

Much rejoicing. Screaming ensues. Ecstacy, I don’t know how to spell it.

Lots of penis juice. Itchy tasty. Wash hands afterwords.

Laying in the bed. One asks what the other is thinking about.

A slap. A map. A wiggity wiggity whap. Bust a rhyme.

This story sucks.

incarnate85: Groovy