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omgwtf!

Welcome to America!

Land of the free…unless some uptight asshole is offended by what you do.

Know what I have to say about that? Here you go:

In yer face, you uptight Puritan! (yes that's my left boobie, enjoy!)

Seems to me that if the Texas school district here were really concerned about anything at all, they should be concerned about the fact that the large majority of students graduating from their schools are pretty much illiterate morons.

We’re talking about Texas here, people. Not a state known for the intellectual prowess of its residents, you know? And perhaps this is one of the reasons why. Instead of taking issue with the fact that people might actually be naked under their clothes, perhaps they should focus on, oh, I dont know…making sure their students can read by the time they hit college?

No, no. We must protect our children from the horror that is TEH BEWBZ!

Art Teacher In Hot Water Over Topless Photos

Update #1: See what I mean? Clearly there are other issues that the education authorities in Texas should be dealing with, other than trying desperately to hide the fact that women have breasts.

Update #2: Just adding this link, as well. Pretty soon, I’m guessing that the burqa will be introduced here in the States to protect us all from the poison that is the naked body. I just hope that they come in cool fashion colours. I’d have to medieval-hippie-goth mine out, though.

Come to think of it, a studded, tie-dyed, fringed burqa might be pretty cool lookin’, you know?

Still, it’s good to see that our hard-working Thief-In-Chief is really hitting the important topics, instead of wasting time dealing with the penny-ante stuff like Iraq, illegal wiretapping, corruption, the energy crisis, the economy, homelessness, the appalling state of our educational system, growing debt, Karl Rove’s miraculous escape from indictment, etc.

What in the hell is going on here? How did this happen to us? And how the hell can I get off this crazy ride?

Update #3:
Here’s the quote on my page for the moment. I thought it was spookily relevant, as tends to happen with that quote generator on a suspiciously regular basis, so I’m adding it here:

It would be a sad situation if the wrapper were better than the meat wrapped inside it.
-Albert Einstein

The Mosquito!

Youve probably heard by now of the new cell ringtone that’s become a favourite of naughty students in high schools everywhere…it’s an offshoot of some anti-teenager technology known as the Mosquito, or “Chavbuster,” by a company who developed a device that emits an annoying tone at a frequency set too high for most adults to hear, but which younger folks can hear just fine.

Apparently, this tone that usually only younger folks can hear is supposed to be annoying enough to prevent them from hanging around disreputably in front of your store or something. All I know is that those have to be some pretty pansy-ass teenagers. A more effective repellent for me would be something along the lines of rap, Madonna, or Britney Spears. You know. Legitimately bad noises.

Anyway, I heard about this and I was intrigued to see if, being 41 now as of last Friday and dealing with some recent and fabulously irritating hearing problems myself, I was able to hear this tone. Due to some kind of mysterious bathing misadventure back in April, I got water stuck in my inner ear and as a result was not only subjected to tinnitus (at first a quite interesting, but after a few weeks merely tedious experience) as well as suffering roughly 95 percent hearing loss in my right ear, and on top of that my allergies have clogged up both of my ears so that speaking on the phone is a major hassle. The hearing in my right ear has since (thankfully) almost completely returned, but the allergies remain and anyone who speaks to me on a regular basis can tell you that my most oft-repeated contribution to any conversation is “what? I can’t hear you.” It’s very annoying, both to me and I’m sure to whoever is trying to talk to me.

So, I found the below-linked NYT article today and they have a link to an MP3 of the 17-hertz frequency tone. Considering my age, my lifelong addiction to listening to eardrum-punishing music…both live and recorded…at suicidally high volume, my considerable allergies, and my recent water-in-the-ear buggery, I figured that it’d be a no-brainer that I wouldnt be able to hear this thing at all.

To my surprise, though, it came through loud and clear and kind of made my head feel that it was filling up with some kind of gently-pulsating gel which caused my cranium to swell slightly. So that was kind of neat. On the down side, I also realize now after repeated listenings that it’s given me a headache. What I dont understand is why so many articles, like this NYT article, refer to this tone as “virtually inaudible” or otherwise describe it as being less of a sound and more like a feeling. I can attest to the fact that it is both: I was definitely able to hear it very clearly, and the feeling it gave me was first that it made my head throb a bit and now I have a headache. But I definitely heard it. It was decidedly, unmistakably auditory.

I listened to it a few times and discovered that not only could I hear it very clearly at the highest volume, but I could also hear it with the volume literally set at 2 (out of 100 in Winamp Pro). For someone who can’t hear a goddamn thing on the telephone, I’d say that’s pretty damned good. It’s also good for some of those little snappers who think they can get away with that shit in class that I’m not their teacher. :) Then again, it’s bad for me. I think I’d kind of enjoy nailing a little wisenheimer with this ringtone and making them write “I shall not use my cell phone for nefarious purposes or make my teacher out for a deaf old stooge in class” 850,000 times.

Due tomorrow morning.

All this serves to remind me, at 4:45 AM Pacific, that I totally forgot my doctor’s appointment on Monday. I’m going to have to call to apologize and reschedule. And maybe I will take that hearing test the doctor wanted me to take, after all. Now I’m curious.

So…can you hear it?

A Ring Tone Meant to Fall on Deaf Ears - New York Times

Tim Hildebrandt, 1939-2006

Tim Hildebrandt, one half of the legendary artistic duo the Brothers Hildebrandt, died on 11 June 2006. Complications from diabetes. As you can see, he was only 67. What a terrible, unfortunate loss.

Every time someone like Tim Hildebrandt dies, it’s like a little piece of me goes with them. Unfortunately, there arent a whole lot of new folks springing up anymore to replace those pieces. I’m beginning to look like a poorly-tended, aging mosaic. Where has our brilliance gone? I sure hope another crop turns up soon. I’ve…we’ve…never been more in need of the inspiration.

The bright side is that Tim, and his twin brother Greg, will live forever in spite of their all-too-mortal flesh. Remember him, rejoice in his art, and browse their galleries. Many a happy hour have I passed staring into their world. I like to believe that they are responsible for helping to develop some of the best of the few good bits amongst the bad that make up who I am.

One of my most treasured possessions is an original promotional Star Wars flat that my mother brought home for me one day in 1977, just after the release of the first movie. We all saw that first incredible film together on opening day, and I continued that opening day tradition right through Episode III, even though George Lucas doesnt deserve that kind of devotion anymore, and hasn’t for a long time. The story and the legend does, though, and I’m proud to say I carried on even though Lucas fell down on his part. My mom and my brother were there with me, in spirit, for every single viewing since then.

I still remember that first opening day, how my brother accidentally tripped over a power cord and unplugged a video game that four (subsequently outraged) guys were playing in the lobby of the movie theater…the RKO Keith’s on Main Street in Flushing…and how, immediately after the movie, while he, my mother, and I were waiting for the bus to take us back home, my mom remarked that it probably wouldn’t be long before my brother, who was an exceedingly adept mimic of odd noises, would be able to reproduce the sound effects we’d just been bathed in.

As she was speaking, Jim, who was eight, pre-asshole, and in his own world, erupted into an astoundingly accurate series of boops and tweets a la R2D2 right behind us. My mother and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. Whenever I think about Star Wars…which is pretty well constantly since I have Star Wars crap all over the place…I think about that day, my mother, my brother, New York…and that piece of art by Tim Hildebrandt.

Tim has been credited as the artist of that piece, and for 31 years I have carefully preserved that flat my mother gave me. It’s an integral part of my childhood and my life. It’s still considered a favourite piece of Star Wars art by many. I cherish this one piece of art so highly that I have never even had the urge to get it signed, though the Brothers Hildebrandt did do frequent signings over in Santa Monica and lots of other places, and the likelihood is that Greg will continue to do so now that Tim is gone.

I never wanted it signed, not by the artists or by the cast of the movie. Even so, when I read that Tim had died, I instantly thought of that flat and felt a twinge of remorse that now I’d never have the opportunity to change my mind. I mean, I could have gotten him at least to sign the back of it, right?

But I think it was more about wanting to meet him and thank him for sharing his art and what he did for me than getting my precious Star Wars flat signed, though. It’s a wrench to realize that he’s gone now, forever, and his pens and brushes will be forever idle, and I’ll never have the chance to shake his hand and express my gratitude for giving me some of the most brilliant fantasy and sci-fi art I’d ever seen during my formative years and beyond.

The Brothers Hildebrandt are as famous for their Lord of the Rings art as they are for their Star Wars art, and I cannot tell you how many hours on end I would sit and pore over every minute detail of their depictions of the lands and personas of Middle Earth and the Star Wars universe. Even when it veered from my own mental images, it was still always so rich and detailed and enthralling that I had to stare at it and study every leaf, every star, every blade of grass and pebble, until my eyes watered.

All their art has tended to capitivate me completely because of the incredible richness and detail. Even Greg’s pinup stuff, which the elitist snob in me tends to view with a gimlet eye, is still amazing art, even though I think the subject matter is just way beneath his level of talent. It’s kind of like ordering filet mignon at a roadside diner. If he’s going to paint a bunch of bimbos, at least he could give them swords or something, you know? But then, to each their own. :) That’s what art is all about, in the end. And still, the art is incredible.

The Brothers Hildebrandt have had their talented, paint-stained fingers in almost every literary sword and sorcery and fantasy pie for the past million or so years, and have enriched the stories they have illustrated. For many people, myself included, you can’t think of Lord of the Rings, or the Shannara series, or Star Wars, or Magic: The Gathering, or any number of other stories without seeing their distinctive art in your mind’s eye. Tim Hildebrandt’s loss leaves us with less beauty in the world, but at least we will always have the incredible work he left behind during his amazing career, and we will continue to have Greg’s art until he, too, lays down his implements of extraordinary vision. Tim and Greg Hildebrandt have made our world a better place to have eyes, and heart, and imagination in, and Tim Hildebrandt will be sorely missed.

Thanks for everything, Tim.

Yon »

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