omgwtf!

And just as I was going to start work on my David Hasselhoff online shrine. :cry:

Well, it looks like I’m going to have to change the Sithly homepage…I think Pamela Bach is probably psychotic…she married David Hasselhoff, after all…but I dunno. If first a judge refused to sign a restraining order against him, and then two weeks later another judge does sign the same restraining order, maybe this isn’t just some kind of…thing. Maybe he’s a wife beating bastard. I just can’t support that. Until I find out for sure, though, I can’t keep my memorial to the glory that is The Hasselhoff going the way it is now.

Segzy Speedos, disgusting, pasty flesh, brillo hairdo, and Colgate smile notwithstanding, I simply can’t support wife beating for any reason! Why did she have to do this and leave me with such agonizing uncertainty?! Couldn’t she have just cut off his balls while he slept and removed all doubt? What an inconsiderate bitch!

Oh well. I’ll have to keep my fingers crossed. After all, it’s pretty easy for a psychotic woman to get a restraining order against an innocent husband. Then again, men do tend to be wife beating bastards more often than women tend to be husband-beating bastards, so I’ve gotta give her the benefit of the doubt here. She has shown a previous measure of insanity for wanting to get close enough to The Hasselhoff to have kids with him, which is admittedly intensely creepy, but that doesnt necessarily mean she’s stone crazy, either.

Maybe he’s OJ in training. It’s not out of the question. I mean…look at the guy. He’s totally serial killer material. Nobody would ever suspect him. He looks like a really hairy, pasty Duracell guy. Plus that German thing he’s got going? I bet he’s secretly fruitbat out of his mind insane. There is just no end to the mystery that is David Hasselhoff!

Say it ain’t so, Dave! Don’t break my heart!

David Hasselhoff denies spousal abuse